The Pallor of Longing
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uḷḷuvaṉ maṉyā ṉuraippa tavartiṟamāṟ / kaḷḷam piṟavō pacappu.
In my mind I hold nothing but him; on my tongue there is nothing but his good. And still the pallor came. It is a cheat — or what else would you call it?
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“I meditate his words, his worth is theme of all I say, / This sickly hue is false that would my trust betray.”
“In my heart I think nought but his thoughts, with my tongue I speak nought but his praises: and yet, witchcraft! this pallor hath overspread my frame.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
யான் உள்ளுவன்= அவர் சொற்களை யான் மனத்தால் நினையாநிற்பேன்; உரைப்பது அவர்திறம்= வாக்கால் உரைப்பதும், அவர் நற்றிறங்களையே; பசப்புக் கள்ளம்= அங்ஙனம் செய்யாநிற்கவும், பசப்பு வந்துநின்றது, இது வஞ்சனையாய் இருந்தது, எ-று.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar takes the couplet in three short movements. First, she keeps his words in her mind and does not stop. Second, what she utters aloud is nothing but his good qualities. And while she is doing both of those things, the pallor has arrived and settled on her — so, the commentary concludes, this was a piece of trickery. The weight of the reading falls on the fact that nothing in her own conduct opened the door. The change came in while she was keeping her side exactly, and that is her ground for calling it a cheat rather than a punishment.