Sad Remembrance
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maṟappi ṉevaṉāvaṉ maṟkoṉ maṟappaṟiyē / ṉuḷḷiṉu muḷḷañ cuṭum.
I have never learned to forget — and even remembering, my heart burns. If I did forget, what would become of me?
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“If I remembered not what were I then? And yet, / The fiery smart of what my spirit knows not to forget!”
“Even with my memory full of him, my heart burneth within me: what then will be my case if I forget him?”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
மறப்பு அறியேன் உள்ளினும் உள்ளம் சுடும்= அவ்வின்பத்தை மறத்தல் அறியேனாய் இன்று உள்ளாநிற்கவும், பிரிவு என் உள்ளத்தைச் சுடாநின்றது; மறப்பின் எவன் ஆவன்= அங்ஙனம் பிரிவு ஆற்றாத யான் மறந்தால் இறந்துபடாது உளேன் ஆவது எத்தால், எ-று.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar draws out the paradox. She does not know how to forget; she is remembering even now, and even as she remembers, the parting keeps scorching her heart. If memory itself burns like this, would forgetting bring relief? No, he says: she who cannot bear even the separation — were she to forget him, by what would she stay alive at all? The pain of remembering is the price of living; forgetting would be the loss of life itself.