Unendurable Separation
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iṉka ṇuṭaittavar pārval pirivañcum / puṉka ṇuṭaittāṟ puṇarvu
There was a time when his simply looking at me held sweetness in it. Now the holding itself has a dimness in it, because inside it sits the fear that he will leave.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“It once was perfect joy to look upon his face; / But now the fear of parting saddens each embrace.”
“His mere look was once a delight unto me: but now even his embrace saddeneth, for that I fear that he is to part.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
அவர் பார்வல் இன்கண் உடைத்து= தழையும் கண்ணியும் கொண்டு பின்னின்ற ஞான்று அவர் நோக்குமாத்திரமும் புணர்ச்சி குறித்தமையான் நமக்கு இன்பம் உடைத்தாயிருக்கும்; புணர்வு பிரிவு அஞ்சும் புன்கண் உடைத்து= இன்று அப்புணர்ச்சிதான் நிகழாநிற்கவும், அது பிரிவர் என்று அஞ்சும் அச்சத்தினை உடைத்தாயிற்று. அவர் அன்பின் நிலைமையிது.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar reads this as the woman setting two times side by side. In the earlier days, when he stood behind her with leaves and a garland, even his looking at her was sweet, because a look pointed towards union and that was enough. Now the union itself is happening, and it has become a source of pain, because the fear that he will part sits inside it. This, the commentary ends, is the condition of his love.