Quarrelling with the Heart
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peṟāamai yañcum peṟiṟpiri vañcu / maṟāa viṭumpaitteṉ ṉeñcu.
When it does not have him it is afraid of never having him; when it has him it is afraid of the parting to come. My heart holds a distress that never breaks off.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“I fear I shall not gain, I fear to lose him when I gain; / And thus my heart endures unceasing pain.”
“It feareth lest it should not get him, and when it hath got him, it feareth lest it should lose him: thus there is no end to the pangs that my Heart suffereth.”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
பெறாமை அஞ்சும்= காதலரைப் பெறாத ஞான்று அப்பெறாமைக்கு அஞ்சாநின்றது; பெறின் பிரிவு அஞ்சும்= பெற்றக்கால் வரக்கடவ பிரிவினை உட்கொண்டு அதற்கு அஞ்சா நின்றது; என்னெஞ்சு அறாஅ இடும்பைத்து= ஆகலான், என்னெஞ்சம் எஞ்ஞான்றும் நீங்காத இடும்பையை உடைத்தாயிற்று, எ-று.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar sets the two fears side by side and shows that no gap is left between them. In the season when she has not got him, the heart is afraid of exactly that, of not getting him. In the season when she has, it takes up the parting that must come and is afraid of that instead. Since one of those two conditions always holds, he concludes that her heart carries a distress which never breaks off.