The Subtleties of Sulking
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taṉṉai yuṇarttiṉuṅ kāyum piṟarkkunī / rinnīra rākuti reṉṟu.
Even when I humble myself and bring her round, she flares up — saying that this is exactly the manner I must have with other women too.
▸Other translations · Pope (1886) & Aiyar (1916)
“I then began to soothe and coax, To calm her jealous mind; / 'I see', quoth she, 'to other folks How you are wondrous kind'”
“Even if I exhaust all my arts to soothe her, she will only frown harder saying, Thou hast practised well at others’ bouderies!”
Parimelazhagar’s commentary
13th century · public domainParimelazhagar’s own words come first, unaltered. The plain reading follows below.
தன்னை உணர்த்தினும் காயும்= இவ்வாற்றான் ஊடிய தன்னை, யான் பணிந்து உணர்த்துங்காலும் வெகுளாநிற்கும்; பிறர்க்கும் நீர் இந்நீரர் ஆகுதிர் என்று= பிறமகளிர்க்கும் அவர் ஊடியவழி, இவ்வாறே பணிந்து உணர்த்தும் நீர்மையை உடையீர் ஆகுதிர் என்று சொல்லி, எ-று.
Source: Tamil Wikisource
Parimelazhagar takes the couplet in two pieces. To the first he gives: even when I, humbling myself, bring round the woman who has sulked in this manner, she is angry still. Two words there are his. யான், 'I', fixes the speaker as the man, which the verse itself never states. And பணிந்து, 'having bowed', is his reading of the manner: the verb உணர்த்து means only to cause someone to know, and the self-lowering is what the commentator sees in it. To the second piece he gives: she says it, saying that to other women too, when they have sulked, you are of the very quality that bows and brings them round. Two additions again, both consequential. பிறர் in the verse is genderless; narrowing it to other women is his, and so is the supplied detail that those women are imagined sulking as well. That second addition is what sharpens the comparison — what is alleged is not that he is pleasant to others, but that he has carried out this very repair for them. He also makes explicit that what is being alleged is a நீர்மை, a quality of person, and not an act.